Eulogy to My Mother: Read May 28th, 2015
Let there be no doubt that life in its
totality is a beautiful journey. We are graced throughout it by the meaningful
presence of friends and loved ones that surround us. However, we all come to
know that part of this journey involves suffering and eventually having to face
squarely the interposing arms of that Source which removes us from all of this.
It has often been said that one of the
greatest gifts we can offer to one another in LIFE is comfort and compassion during this transition to Death.
As such, it is with the deepest gratitude of my family that you are
present with us here today. And, we are even more grateful to those of you who
made mother’s transition more meaningful by offering her smiles and laughter,
and above all your love. You know who you are.
Many of you knew my mother well. Well
enough to know her nature. She was a genuine giver. She was always available to
donate her time to others in need. But, what most holds in my mind is the
memory that mom always sought to avoid conflict with others. Let’s just say
‘flatly’ that she was most definitely conflict averse. Such occasions did
arise, however, as they do with even with the best of us. And, when they did,
they always concluded not with mom winning, nor stuck in a draw. But they always
ended with…an apology - from mom. In
fact, I don’t believe that she even saw the world in the sense of it as having
winners and losers. Mom had this uncanny ability to see good in everyone. She
could squeeze water from a rock. And she could find an ounce of light in all
that was dark. Mom truly never met a “bad” person.
What I have learned from this as I have
become an adult, and what I think we can all learn from it as well, is that the
world is less black and white than we may have comfortably arrived to think. We
are all by nature good and bad. Sometimes we just have to look a little harder
to find the goodness in each other. What
mom has shown us, though, is that it IS truly there.
About a week and a half ago mom was
overheard by my sister Nancy, her primary care taker until the end, as saying
“Tony don’t bother me. I will get there when I get there.” Well, she was
finally ready a few nights ago. Now Tony and Leverette are together again.
Thanks to all of you for being part of
mom’s life, and above all for giving her journey true meaning.
Sincerely,